Shadows.
— Often as a creative or anything for that matter, it’s hard to showcase a level of vulnerability. The perception of weakness of any form has never really been a thing that's highly lauded in society. Perhaps it comes from our instincts in attempting to survive. However over the last few post-pandemic years. In assessing the journey of my career. Gauging myself both mentally and creatively. I’ve realized that to solidify the path of continued growth, it’s perfectly ok to acknowledge some of the fears and obstacles that have perhaps been obstacles in the path.
I must admit that this walk in creativity has been filled with a variety of emotions. There are days when possibilities seem endless and your soul is so full and encompassed by the depths your art can bring. Yet there are other moments, where the lowness can be daunting. A form of contrasting conflict that can take such an emotional toll on your being. You suddenly wonder how an act that can bring such immense joy can leave you in this kind of sparse emotional space. For years I thought I was on an island with those feelings. Again, as creatives, we often don’t talk about the inner depths of our internal conflicts. The range in which they completely skewer our emotions. It hasn’t been until now that I’ve realized that these feelings are merely a part of the process of any success or failure for that matter. That the outcomes of the endeavors often lie in how you process those feelings.
As of late, I’ve begun to make it a point to not only address my difficulties as an artist. The highs and lows that come with work. The feelings of insecurity that come arise within projects. The critiques from the outside world. The self-doubt. In addition to the elation that comes from those times when it all goes right. Approach each moment more stoically. Yet also reaching out to other peers and inquiring as to their well-being. I think that’s important for the ecosystem of creativity. To insure we’re all well.
I think each of us is an artist in some way. Even the most right-brained person yields a distinct level of creativity. I mean, what is creativity? Other than the act of being creative. Everything that we do in our day to day merits some level of creativity. There are of course levels to it. As well as the perceptions of it. I feel that it’s all subjective. I think it’s what a lot of us fail to realize.
Even those amongst us who set out with the distinct intention to strive directly to be an “artist”. That this thing we’re after is all subjective and to be a thorough creative is to merely own your intentions as that creative. I think that’s what garners the attention. That’s something I’ve been learning to sit in. The fact that “This is mine!” Share in, own it, assess it. That’s been part of the shadow work I’ve personally had to acknowledge. Perhaps all those that are great do this work. Or maybe there’s been someone who periodically there as a reach-out to those on their road and pointed out the detours and dead ends. I long to be on that road. For myself, for others. To help us all get there safely and emotionally intact.
